Who are you living for? 0

These days I’m working on untangling a core pattern that goes like this: My life has meaning only if I’m helping people. People only want me around to the extent that I’m helping them. I really ought to be saving the world now. Is this […]

Cultivating Self-Worth 0

It’s one of the jobs of a parent to instill a child with a sense of their own worth. This happens naturally if there is enough love, support, connection, and empathy available. If this didn’t happen for you, you may have a shaky connection with […]

The Joy Manifesto 0

There are creations only you can bring into the world. There is a purpose for your life–one that nobody else can fulfill. How do you find that purpose? Joy. Follow your joy. Give birth to your brilliance. Joy is our built-in compass. It tells us […]

The Incomplete Apology 0

In NVC we talk about “Giraffe Apologies” – using NVC to express regret, name the needs not met, and re-connect. This post is the second of two (here’s the first) that explores how our usual way of apologizing can fail to meet needs, and then how we might […]

Apology / Not Apology 3

In NVC we talk about “Giraffe Apologies” – using NVC to express regret, name the needs not met, and re-connect. This post is the first in a series that will explore how our usual way of apologizing can fail to meet needs, and then how we might […]

Money, Gifts, and Creating an Economy of Love 0

I’ve done the work of learning how to charge what you’re worth. I’ve studied pricing strategy. I’ve run a successful business that supports me and I understand how money works. So I’m not coming to this from the idea that “money is the root of […]

Meditation: Embodying a Time You Felt Connected 0

I used this mindfulness induction in my NVC class this week. It goes with the lesson/exercise on Resourcing/Shifting States. Go ahead and let yourself make the transition from “getting here”/arriving to “being here”/ having arrived. However you do that. (General mindfulness stuff) Mindfulness is….notice what […]

Lumping and Splitting – Learning from Dog Training 0

I just discovered these terms used in animal training. From the blog Eileen and Dogs: Splitting is to look for and reinforce small steps in the right direction. Lumping is skipping the small increments and hoping that the whole perfect behavior will somehow still appear. Eileen […]

Sensing the Energy of Interconnection 0

This post is a pointer to a lot of question marks. I experience the ability to sense the larger patterns in reality, time being one of them. It’s not quite the sense of being ‘psychic’ as I understand it–I am not channeling anything. Rather it’s […]

Distributing Shock 0

Shock is defined as experiencing something that overwhelms your ability to cope (from We Are All in Shock). It is more global and severe than trauma. In trauma, you mobilize some kind of response; with shock, you are overwhelmed. If not addressed this lodges in […]

Breaking the Spell 0

“As all the tales teach us, It’s only once a spell has been broken that its influence is truly visible” – Jessica Montgomery, in a META newsletter This speaks to me of the importance of groups, and other people in general–people who can see our […]

Culture as an Anchor During Change 0

One of my teachers, Donna Roy, recently returned from South Korea and shared in the META newsletter about her experience returning after 35 years. She was struck by how much Korea purposely pursued economic change, and yet retained the core organicity of their culture. It […]

Being a Spiritual Conduit 5

In Matrix I was introduced to the term emotional conduit. It’s a role that people take on, generally unconsciously. The classic example is the person in the family that feels everything that the other members are denying or suppressing. It’s not a fun role, because you are […]

When Culture Works 0

My experience in Matrix is that profound experiences can be named and recognized easily, as they happen. There is an attention and awareness and acknowledgement of what is actually happening between people, and its significance. There is mutual recognition, and cultural (group) recognition, of the […]

Trigger Calming Magic 3

When you are triggered, your autonomic nervous system is reacting to messages from your brain that you are in danger. Our body’s survival mode kicks in, which results in primal responses: fight – lash out in anger without thinking flight – urge to leave the […]

Working With Regret 0

Regret is one of the hardest emotions we can feel. It can be a relief to realize that regret is a secondary emotion, and by addressing the primary feelings regret can be released.

Cultivating Self-Discipline is Best Done Gently 2

Self-discipline is tricky. In the movies, there is always a big motivating factor, and then a montage of activity toward a goal, and finally a triumphant success. In real life, it rarely works that way. We get the initial burst of energy. We make a […]

Accepting Our Brokenness Helps Us Heal 2

One of the major tasks of healing is self-acceptance. While a lot can be gained by developing mindfulness and skillfulness, there is a fundamental peace and clarity that comes from accepting and meeting yourself where you are without judgment. We All Judge Ourselves We all […]

Healing Hyper-vigilance and Learning Peace 17

Those who grow up in an environment that is not safe (whether physically or emotionally) develop a heightened sense of threat. They learn to scan the environment for potential danger, and react defensively. As an adult, this can continue as a chronic sense of fear […]