All Q&A questions about:
How does enmeshment make you blind to incompatibility?
When you are incompatible but enmeshed, neither of you can be yourselves, because who you actually are becomes intolerable to the other person. So you hide who you are to get along, and expect the other to do the same.
Can I love someone unconditionally and still leave them?
Yes. Unconditional love and unconditional engagement with someone are two different things.