Parts Work

“A part of me wants to take this risk, but another part is terrified I’ll fail.”

If you’ve ever said something like the above, then you are already familiar with parts. They are part of our vernacular.

We also are invoking parts when we talk about our “inner child” or “inner critic”.

Parts work just means doing therapeutic work with parts, which may be wounded or in conflict with each other.

What are parts, though?

Rather than a single, unified personality, the existence of parts suggests that we are actually made up of different sub-personalities, each with its own perspective, emotions, and role.

Different parts become active at different times depending on circumstances.

There are many different versions of parts work, but the most popular these days is Internal Family Systems or IFS.

If you had a difficult childhood or have attachment trauma or CPTSD, you have wounded inner child parts that carry the pain of different events.

The Self

Many therapeutic and spiritual systems including IFS recognize some version of the “Self”—a core part of us that is distinct from our thoughts, emotions, and subpersonalities.

While the language and philosophy vary, the core concept is remarkably similar across different traditions.

The Self is your innate, unchanging core and is calm, confident, compassionate, and curious.

In different traditions it has been called the Witness, the Higher Self, the Observing Mind, your true nature, or the organic self.

Characteristics of the Self

• Unchanging: Unlike moods or parts, the Self is stable.
• Non-reactive: It doesn’t panic, blame, or criticize.
• Compassionate: It holds even your most wounded or reactive parts with care.
• Center of Awareness: It’s the place from which you can observe your parts.

Blended parts

When a part of you takes over your consciousness so fully that it feels like you are that part, we call it being blended with that part.

• You lose perspective and can’t tell that a part is operating.
• You feel fused with an emotion, like shame, rage, or fear.
• The part’s thoughts feel like your thoughts; its feelings feel like your identity.
• There is no internal Self-leadership—your calm, compassionate core is offline or overshadowed.

Example: You’re feeling intense self-criticism after making a mistake. You’re completely consumed by the belief that you’re a failure. You’re blended with your Inner Critic.

“Blending” as a term is most closely associated with Internal Family Systems (IFS), but the basic idea of becoming over-identified with a subpersonality or part appears across many other therapeutic and psychological frameworks. They may use different terms, but the phenomenon is widely recognized.

How to Unblend From a Part

Pause and Notice: What’s happening inside you? What emotions, thoughts, body sensations are present?

Name the Part: “A part of me feels ___.” This helps create separation.

Ask for Space: Gently ask the part to “step back” so you can see it more clearly. If it is in a lot of pain, you can ask it to hold it’s pain instead of flooding you with it, so you can work with it.

Invite the Self: Access the qualities of the Self—calm, curiosity, compassion, clarity.

Dialoguing: Begin to speak with the part, not from the part.

What Parts Work Involves

Identifying parts: Recognizing different internal voices, feelings, or behaviors that represent parts.

Dialoguing with parts: Talking to these parts (sometimes out loud, or in journaling) to understand their needs, fears, and roles.

Unblending: Learning to step back from parts that dominate so the Self can lead.

Healing wounded parts: Bringing compassion, attention, and care to parts carrying pain, often rooted in childhood or past trauma.

When and How to do Parts Work

When you feel a negative emotion—pain, regret, shame—there’s a reason it’s there. A part of you knows that reason. That part has a need it’s trying to express.

The same is true if you are “stuck” — there’s something you need or want to do but some part of you is like, “nope!”—or maybe two parts of you are arguing about it in the back of your mind.

You can talk to parts to understand what they need. I find writing is the easiest way to do this.

I usually start with something like: “OK, part of me that feels regret… what’s going on? What’s it like to be you? What do you need?”

Then I pause, listen inwardly, and write down whatever comes. I keep the dialogue going until that part feels heard.

You can also ask AI to help you generate questions to better understand what this part wants, like:

• What do you want most for me?
• What are you afraid will happen if I don’t listen to you?
• What kind of person are you trying to help me be?
• What would make it easier for you to trust that we’re okay?
• Is there anything you’ve been trying to tell me that I haven’t been hearing?

These are general questions, but the AI can also give you more specific ones if you describe the part you are working with. In fact, I usually just have most of the conversation with AI, because it will reflect back to me what I’m saying about each part and we kind of figure it out together. For more details, I have an AI-assisted parts work section in my ChatGPT article.

I started using parts work in my journal before I had heard of IFS. It’s just a very natural and useful way to work with yourself.