Free yourself.

I write about the art of self-liberation: do-it-yourself healing and personal growth. I seek unbridled joy and unconditional happiness. These are notes and tips from my journey.
Join me, if you'd like!

Hi, Iā€™m Emma. I am always seeking the real deal—truth, depth, and authenticity. I seek the Light while embracing the shadow for what it can teach us. I hope I can inspire you to align with your truth and live your joy, without apology.

Principles of Self-liberation

A set of psycho-spiritual guidelines for healing your past and recovering your personal power & joy.
  1. Love yourself fiercely. Develop a relationship with yourself based on genuine love and support rather than fear, criticism, and forcing yourself to do things. Be your own best friend. Inner peace comes when you end the inner war.
  2. Learn how brains work. Brains become conditioned and can be reconditioned (changed). See your thoughts with neutrality and your feelings with detached compassion. Don't believe everything you feel, but honor the part that feels it. Don't take your mind too seriously, because when you do, it makes it harder to change it.
  3. Hold beliefs lightly. Both beliefs about yourself, and about the world. Have "best guesses" and "working theories", not beliefs. Nobody really knows what is going on here, and the more humility you can bring to everything, the easier it is to be flexible, adapt, grow, learn, and enjoy life.
  4. Practice radical forgiveness. Everything you have done was your best guess at how to meet your needs at the time, given your subjective context. The same is true of everyone else. You have no idea what anyone else is living with inside their own minds, and they don't know what you're living with. So just walk your own path in peace.

New Posts

March 22, 2023

How to Use ChatGPT for Self-Therapy, Self-Coaching, and Personal Growth

Three examples of using ChatGPT for self-therapy and self-coaching, with full prompts and responses.

March 6, 2023

Why Healing Can Feel Like Self-Betrayal

If you heal, does that mean you are letting the people who hurt you off the hook?

May 29, 2022

The Layer Cake of Sustainable Motivation

Learn why creative & intuitive types can get stuck around motivation, and how to create that sweet, sweet alignment that makes you excited to jump out of bed in the morning.

March 12, 2022

Intro to State Shifting: Choosing to Be Happy Anyway

Shifting from a bad mood to a good mood is both easier and harder than it sounds.

February 22, 2022

The Moment Healing Happens In Your Mind

The moment when your brain offers you an interpretation based in trauma and you choose reality instead.

February 9, 2022

Healing Clutter: Trauma and the Tyranny of Aspirational Objects

How to withdraw your inner critic and aspirational fantasies from objects so you can let them go.

December 11, 2021

Healing Fantasies: Releasing the Longing to Be Rescued

Wherein I explain healing fantasies (aka redemption or salvation fantasies), the function they serve, my personal history with them, and what to do about them.

November 4, 2021

Self-Loathing Serves a Purpose (and How to Heal)

Why our mind inflicts pain on itself and how to make it stop.

October 12, 2021

How to Meet Your Own Emotional Needs Through Self-Validation

Giving up my healing fantasy of emotional rescue and learning to give myself the validation I always needed.

June 24, 2021

Don’t Hold Your Present Hostage To Your Past

You have no power over the past. But you do have power over your present.

June 18, 2021

How to Process Trauma By Yourself (Without Therapy)

Processing trauma isn’t nearly as complicated as it often sounds.

June 15, 2021

False Spirituality and Self-Delusion

“Meant to be” can easily become a way to disempower ourselves.

June 14, 2021

How to Heal Core Belief-Fueled Emotional Reactivity

You don’t need to fight a battle against a ghost. All you need to do is see that it is a ghost.

June 12, 2021

Conscious Coping – Let Yourself Have It

Guilt and self-criticism do not improve your behavior. You can love yourself, even when you’re not perfect.

June 10, 2021

When “Feel Your Feelings” Doesn’t Work

Sometimes you are just reinforcing negative beliefs.

June 8, 2021

The Hell that is Fearful-Avoidant Attachment (and How to Heal It)

Desperate to be loved, terrified to be seen.

June 7, 2021

It Doesn’t Have to Mean That You’re Broken

We end up holding ourselves hostage to the meaning we give things. Change your story, change your life.

June 4, 2021

Healing School Trauma

Preparing kids “for the real world” by traumatizing them is ridiculous.

June 3, 2021

Darkness is Merely the Absence of Light

The darkness doesn’t spawn demons. We do.

June 1, 2021

You Can’t Become a Better Person

Healing is about remembering you are already whole.