Joy is your natural state.
There is a wild, free creature within you that has never been crushed by the pain and drudgery of the world. When you undo negative conditioning and forge a positive relationship with yourself, joy returns.
Permanently stop self-criticism, self-doubt, and comparing yourself to others.
End the inner war & relate to yourself with compassion rather than cruelty.
Why many therapy and self-help methods don’t work
They teach coping (trying to feel better) rather than healing (resolving the underlying wound). Real healing requires turning toward the pain.
They are not liberatory—their goal is to make you "normal" or more functional under capitalism, rather than happy & free.
They only work with the mind, and ignore the larger context—the body, nervous system, social & cultural context, and the soul's karma.
Hi, I’m Emma. I believe joy is a survival skill and a revolutionary act. I healed my shame, self-hatred, existential guilt, depression, attachment trauma, and autistic burnout, and you can too. Sustainable happiness is not out of reach: it rests on a set of skills that you can learn and practice.
How to Heal & Be Happy
- Healing fantasies - escape fantasies, romance fantasies, rescue fantasies
- Limerence
- False spirituality and self-delusion
- Mindfulness is always the starting point and most useful tool for self-healing.
- How to process trauma without therapy
- How to change your core beliefs
- How to validate yourself - immensely helpful for emotional regulation
- How to heal self-loathing
- How to rewire your brain in real-time
- My favorite resources - Youtubers, books, courses
Archive
I am autistic
This is a pretty big deal, so let me explain how I got here.
I guess I have ADHD after all
I only recognized myself when I started reading people reframing ADHD as neurodivergence, and even then it took me awhile to deconstruct the pathology language surrounding it.
Life update: divorce, burnout, new things
I’m through the hard, and ready to rock the internet again. Come find me on Substack or Facebook if you want to hang out!
How to Use ChatGPT for Self-Therapy, Self-Coaching, and Personal Growth
Three examples of using ChatGPT for self-therapy and self-coaching, with full prompts and responses.
Why Healing Can Feel Like Self-Betrayal
If you heal, does that mean you are letting the people who hurt you off the hook?
The Layer Cake of Sustainable Motivation
Learn why creative & intuitive types can get stuck around motivation, and how to create that sweet, sweet alignment that makes you excited to jump out of bed in the morning.
Intro to State Shifting: Choosing to Be Happy Anyway
Shifting from a bad mood to a good mood is both easier and harder than it sounds.
The Moment Healing Happens In Your Mind
The moment when your brain offers you an interpretation based in trauma and you choose reality instead.
Healing Clutter: Trauma and the Tyranny of Aspirational Objects
How to withdraw your inner critic and aspirational fantasies from objects so you can let them go.
Healing Fantasies: Releasing the Longing to Be Rescued
Wherein I explain healing fantasies (aka redemption or salvation fantasies), the function they serve, my personal history with them, and what to do about them.
Self-Loathing Serves a Purpose (and How to Heal)
Why our mind inflicts pain on itself and how to make it stop.
How to Meet Your Own Emotional Needs Through Self-Validation
Giving up my healing fantasy of emotional rescue and learning to give myself the validation I always needed.
Don’t Hold Your Present Hostage To Your Past
You have no power over the past. But you do have power over your present.
How to Process Trauma By Yourself (Without Therapy)
Processing trauma isn’t nearly as complicated as it often sounds.
False Spirituality and Self-Delusion
“Meant to be” can easily become a way to disempower ourselves.
How to Heal Core Belief-Fueled Emotional Reactivity
You don’t need to fight a battle against a ghost. All you need to do is see that it is a ghost.
Conscious Coping – Let Yourself Have It
Guilt and self-criticism do not improve your behavior. You can love yourself, even when you’re not perfect.
When “Feel Your Feelings” Doesn’t Work
Sometimes you are just reinforcing negative beliefs.
The Hell that is Fearful-Avoidant Attachment (and How to Heal It)
Desperate to be loved, terrified to be seen.
It Doesn’t Have to Mean That You’re Broken
We end up holding ourselves hostage to the meaning we give things. Change your story, change your life.
