A Little Willingness: The Healing Journey
Where psychology and spirituality meet.
I have studied both psychology and spirituality for a long time, and I always keep my feet in both worlds. So while I write about attachment and healing mostly in the framework of modern psychology and trauma, I actually think of it much more broadly from a framework of my relationship between myself and the Universe. (A word that broadly stands in for the Tao, or God if you can divorce it from organized religion).
For me, it wasn’t a single psychological framework or method that shifted my sense of alienation and feeling broken, but rather a continuous journey of going in a healing direction and having things show up that, in retrospect, where steps along the way. This includes books, videos, people, groups, concepts, internal experiences, chance meetings, etc.
On a spiritual level, I believe we call to us the healing we commit to and believe in. Neville Goddard talks about this as the “bridge of incidents” – things that show up for us when we commit.
My favorite quote also speaks to this:
“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too.
All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favour all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.” ― William Hutchison Murray
This idea is reflected in many other teachings as well, such as in A Course in Miracles in which it states that all it takes is “a little willingness”. There is a way we must consent to our own healing for it to happen. If we insist that it can’t, it won’t–it can’t. Healing is nonviolent, and the Universe will not force it onto us. We must welcome it into our hearts–we must be willing.
I have studied trauma and attachment and all sorts of therapy-type stuff, but this concept of willingness and commitment is really the bedrock of my healing practice. It is the knowledge that I am not meant to be un-whole. I am meant to be whole, happy, joyous, and free, and so I am committed to learning how to become that, and I expect the Universe to answer that commitment, and it has. Every time I truly let go of a belief that I have to sacrifice, or be broken, or be unhappy, and I commit to becoming a person who is whole, the Universe responds and the way is shown.
I have experienced this so many times, and yet I still occasionally fall out of the full faith in it. This seems to be a built-in part of being human: that we must constantly remember who we really are.
You can think of this purely in psychological terms: that if we have a self-concept that precludes healing, then we will prevent it from happening. We will defend a broken self-concept that is familiar or feels righteous, even if it makes us unhappy. I think that’s completely accurate, and I also have experienced it as a much broader phenomenon.