Don’t Hold Your Present Hostage To Your Past

The only moment in which you can actually make a choice is the present moment.

You can’t change the past, and the future is theoretical. The literal only moment in which choice occurs is the present.

Which means you owe it to yourself to make that as free of a choice as possible.

Your mind will rehearse the past until you tell it not to.

One way we consistently make ourselves less free is basing our present moment choices on the past.

Our brain has a lot of built-in ways to do this:

  • identities
  • wounds & traumas
  • habits
  • inertia & autopilot
  • blame & denial

But your mind isn’t in charge. YOU are. You have a choice.

If the past is dragging you down, let it go.

Learn whatever you need to learn from it, and then set it to rest.

I’m not saying it’s easy. I’m 40 and I’m still working on reprogramming shit in my head from when I was a baby.

I’m saying it’s possible. Which means it’s really up to you how much you let it affect you in the present.

There are lots of parts of life you can’t control. Your mind is one of the few things that you can, with time and practice, exercise a huge degree of control over. That is a form of power that, once developed, nobody can take from you.

The hardest part of self-empowerment is giving up blame.

Our mind has a lot of defense mechanisms, like blame (and it’s harder-to-recognize cousin projection), denial, and rationalization.

These all exist for a reason. They are ways that the mind protects itself from being overwhelmed.

And they make you feel better. Sort of.

But if you can find any space in yourself, work to let them go. Because they are keeping you trapped trying to resist something that is already over.

Whatever you lost is gone. Whatever injustice occurred has already happened. You can’t change it.

You cannot fix the past. Ever. It is over, done, and absolutely unfixable. And any energy you spend trying to fix the past is energy you are robbing from your present.

If you are letting your past negatively affect your present, that is at least in part a self-inflicted injury.

Again, I’m not saying it’s easy to re-pattern your subconscious and change your beliefs and thoughts. But it’s possible. Which means you have a choice.

The past may have been someone else’s fault. If you were a child, it definitely was. But the present is still up to you. Nobody can take the present choices you have away from you except yourself. 

You don’t ever have to keep being whatever you used to be.

You can self-generate new beliefs and new feelings and new habits and a new identity.

That is one of the awesome powers of the human mind. Yes, it gets stuck in the past. Yes, it tries to reproduce old traumas. But it also has the power to generate new thoughts and re-shape itself. You always have that power available to you. Use it. Get clear on the future you want, and then make choices every day that will move you closer to it. That is how you change your life. And nobody can do it for you.

That is what empowerment means. It means using the full power you have available to you right now. You have no power over the past. But you do have power over your present.

Thanks for reading! You can leave a tip at, leave a comment below, or follow me on Instagram. ~Emma

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