Healing & Growth

March 12, 2022

Intro to State Shifting: Choosing to Be Happy Anyway

Shifting from a bad mood to a good mood is both easier and harder than it sounds.

February 22, 2022

The Moment Healing Happens In Your Mind

The moment when your brain offers you an interpretation based in trauma and you choose reality instead.

February 9, 2022

Healing Clutter: Trauma and the Tyranny of Aspirational Objects

How to withdraw your inner critic and aspirational fantasies from objects so you can let them go.

December 11, 2021

Healing Fantasies: Releasing the Longing to Be Rescued

Wherein I explain healing fantasies (aka redemption or salvation fantasies), the function they serve, my personal history with them, and what to do about them.

November 4, 2021

Self-Loathing Serves a Purpose (and How to Heal)

Why our mind inflicts pain on itself and how to make it stop.

October 12, 2021

How to Meet Your Own Emotional Needs Through Self-Validation

Giving up my healing fantasy of emotional rescue and learning to give myself the validation I always needed.

June 24, 2021

Don’t Hold Your Present Hostage To Your Past

You have no power over the past. But you do have power over your present.

June 18, 2021

How to Process Trauma By Yourself (Without Therapy)

Processing trauma isn’t nearly as complicated as it often sounds.

June 15, 2021

False Spirituality and Self-Delusion

“Meant to be” can easily become a way to disempower ourselves.

June 12, 2021

Conscious Coping – Let Yourself Have It

Guilt and self-criticism do not improve your behavior. You can love yourself, even when you’re not perfect.

June 10, 2021

When “Feel Your Feelings” Doesn’t Work

Sometimes you are just reinforcing negative beliefs.

June 8, 2021

The Hell that is Fearful-Avoidant Attachment (and How to Heal It)

Desperate to be loved, terrified to be seen.

June 7, 2021

It Doesn’t Have to Mean That You’re Broken

We end up holding ourselves hostage to the meaning we give things. Change your story, change your life.

June 4, 2021

Healing School Trauma

Preparing kids “for the real world” by traumatizing them is ridiculous.

June 3, 2021

Darkness is Merely the Absence of Light

The darkness doesn’t spawn demons. We do.

June 1, 2021

You Can’t Become a Better Person

Healing is about remembering you are already whole.

December 3, 2015

When your world falls apart, can you still love yourself?

Life, pain, God, and loving yourself and the world with such fierceness that you find the state of Grace.

February 3, 2015

Enduring Pain You Cannot Change: My Life as a Prison Wife

Wherein I get everything my heart desires and am still unhappy. But not for the reasons you’re thinking.

April 8, 2014

Facing Unavoidable Pain

We make meaning out of tragedy. But the tragedy is still tragic.

August 20, 2013

10 Levels of Wounding and How to Heal Them

Pain comes in many forms, and the key to healing is finding the right remedy for what you are experiencing. This post attempts to diagram all the kinds of psychological, emotional, and spiritual wounding I know of and the best remedies I have found for each.