Joy is your birthright.
There is a wild & free creature within you that has never been crushed by the pain and drudgery of the world. When you undo survival patterning and forge a truly loving relationship with yourself, joy returns.Self-love is a set of skills you can learn
Stop Being Cruel to Yourself
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Do you struggle with...
- Constant self-doubt, overthinking, self-criticism
- Pretend to be ânormalâ and âOKâ but secretly feel like you never will be
- Feel ashamed of being too sensitive, too intense, too much, too weird
- Feel like there is something you âshouldâ be doing but you donât know what
- Constantly battle with your inner resistance when you try to get things done
You were not born exhausted. You learned to treat yourself in a way that drains your vitality in service of ideals that are not your own.
Self-liberation requires retraining your mind to align with your soul instead of the conditioning you got from your family, school, and society.
Hi, Iâm Emma.
Iâm autisticâI see the world differently than most. Iâve had to come to terms with being perceived as âweirdâ just for existing.
My healing journey started with being full of self-loathing, but I craved healing and happiness. It took time and work, but I eventually figured out how to love myself and restore my intrinsic capacity for freedom and joy.
I write about the journey of self-liberation: how to heal trauma, develop self-compassion, release existential guilt, recover from burnout, reject the concept of ânormalâ, and restore your natural joy and power.
Genuine self-love and happiness rests on a set of skills anyone can learn and master, regardless of your neurotype. You have the capacity to to live a fulfilling life of your own choosing. If I can do it, so can you.
Why many healing methods donât work
They teach coping, not healing. Coping means trying to feel better in the short run. Resolving the underlying wound requires turning toward the pain, not avoiding it.
They are not liberatory. Their goal is to make you ânormalâ i.e. more functional under capitalism, rather than happy & free on your own terms.
They only work with the mind. They ignore the larger contextâthe body, nervous system, neurotype, culture, society, systems of oppression, and the soulâs karma & lessons.
The donât involve surrender. Transformation requires releasing old versions of you. Healing requires willingness to let go of your wounded identity and all the defenses that keep your pain protected.
The methods I use are...
Permanent. Only genuine healing and brain rewiring will give you permanent results. (Donât believe me?)
Transformational. When you heal, you regain a part of yourself. When you rewire your brain, you are now working with a new operating system. When you experience a shift in perception, an obstacle becomes a doorway.
Restorative. My goal is to help you recover your inherent wholeness and live from that place. There is a blueprint of a powerful, soul-aligned person inside you. All I am doing is helping you unfragment your sense of self, and shed what isnât you.
Nonviolent. No fixing, forcing, or pathologizing. I donât give people a system to fit themselves intoâI give people tools to get themselves free. Think of it like handing someone in the wilderness a compass, a map, and a first-aid kit. The journey is still up to you.
Featured
How to Heal a Painful Childhood
Childhood adversity is difficult to heal because it affects our development, including our worldview and what we believe is available to us.
We must not only process the pain and resolve it (as with any trauma), but we also need to address any missing experiences, develop a healthy relationship with ourselves, and address deep patterns that were wired in through abuse or trauma.
- Healing fantasies - Brains often cope with childhood trauma through fantasy: escape fantasies, romance fantasies, rescue fantasies.
- Limerence
- False spirituality and self-delusion
- How to validate yourself - immensely helpful for emotional regulation
- Why you hate yourself and how to heal it
- Using ChatGPT for Self-Therapy
- My Brain Lies to Me: Self-Help for Cognitive Distortions
- My favorite self-healing links - Youtubers, books, courses
How to Rewire Your Brain
Every thought you think increases the chances you will think that thought again. If you ruminate or mentally spiral, you are reinforcing your brainâs pathwaysâbut you can use this same neuroplasticity to your advantage to change your brain.
- Mindfulness is always the starting point and most useful tool for rewiring your brain
- How it feels to rewire your brain in real-time
- Limbic Templates - rewire the deepest part of your brain
- State-shifting - access joy at will and shift your emotional baseline for permanent happiness
- When NOT to "Feel Your Feelings"
- Non-sucky affirmations - an essential tool for brain rewiring
How to Grow Spiritually
My spiritual path is eclectic; I donât follow any particular tradition. I have studied Wicca, Buddhism, Taoism, A Course in Miracles and various schools of astrology. My general framework is that our souls are eternalâwe choose to be born and which bits of our karma or soul evolution to work on in each life.
I feel God viscerally and think of spirituality primarily as an experience and relationship I have with the Universe, not as a belief system. I use everything in life as my teacherâI find that is the quickest way to heal or evolve.
- The obstacle is the doorway â in defense of love and Light
- All healing is spiritual healing â how willingness unlocks everything
- False spirituality and self-delusion â the misuse of âmeant to beâ
- Darkness isnât realâitâs merely the absence of Light
- What helped me reconcile logic and rationality with magic and mysticism
- AstroLiberation â my astrology site, where you can learn what lessons and karma are shown in your natal chart
- Joy Is My Path â another blog of mine đ - raw wisdom for soul growth
How to Reclaim Self-Authority
This is a new section specifically about undoing our social conditioning and centering ourselves in self-legitimacy and self-authority. The need for this has become highlighted to me through realizing my own neurodivergence.
To fully heal within our system, especially if you are not part of the dominant or typical set of identities (white, cis, neurotypical, etc), you have to question the social-cultural framework we live in and undo internalized oppression.
Principles of Self-Liberation
- Love yourself fiercely. Develop a relationship with yourself based on genuine love and support rather than fear, criticism, and forcing yourself to do things. Be your own best friend. Inner peace comes when you end the inner war.
- Hold beliefs lightly. Both beliefs about yourself, and about the world. Have "best guesses" and "working theories", not beliefs. Nobody really knows what is going on here, and the more humility you can bring to everything, the easier it is to be flexible, adapt, grow, learn, and enjoy life.
- Set intentions for what you want, even if you have no idea how they will happen. There is power in our intention, and you just have to practice doing this for awhile to see it. I can't convince you, but life can convince you. Let life show you the spiritual power you possess by trying it out.
- Take 100% responsibility for your life. You are the only one who can decide what is right for you and choose that for yourself. Whatever has happened in your life, it's up to you to learn and grow from it. Release any need or desire for rescue or revenge, grow yourself up, and develop your own inner power and strength. Your life is up to you.
- Practice radical forgiveness. Everything you have done was your best guess at how to meet your needs at the time, given your subjective context. The same is true of everyone else. You have no idea what anyone else is living with inside their own minds, and they don't know what you're living with. So just walk your own path in peace.
