Blog

Facing Unavoidable Pain 2

This is the second post related to my friend Larisa’s 10-day Free Self-Care Expedition, and examining my relationship with sugar. In my first post on my sugar habit, I examined my habit of emotional eating, and creating a healthier self-discipline around food. In this post I […]

Healing My Sugar Habit: Self-Discipline as Self-Love 1

I’m doing my friend Larisa’s 10-day Free Self-Care Expedition, and this post is part of my commitment to examining my relationship with sugar. These are my Day 1 Reflections. I’ve done a lot of different food diets, for a variety of reasons. Years ago in college […]

Let’s talk about privilege 2

I haven’t written in a few months because all of these ideas were sifting through my brain and reconfiguring it. I’ve been thinking a lot about privilege and the way that “Lifestyle Design” and personal growth is generally aimed at people who already have a heck […]

Levels of Wounding and How to Heal Them 2

Pain comes in many forms, and the key to healing is finding the right remedy for what you are experiencing. This post attempts to diagram all the kinds of psychological, emotional, and spiritual wounding I know of and the best remedies I have found for […]

Creative People: You Are Not Lazy 6

Creative people who get stuck in procrastination, avoidance, or general malaise often call themselves lazy. This is not accurate, and stops you from finding out what’s really going on. Lazy is a label and judgment we put on behavior we don’t understand. When I look back […]

Living With Death: Making Sense of Suicide 18

Emily, my partner, my love, took her own life on Wednesday, July 31st, 2013. Below my letter is Emily’s good-bye note. I’m writing this preface to help people who know her make sense of why this happened. Most of her friends and family knew Emily as […]

Your Motivation for Work and Why It Matters 0

Sometimes I lose sight of why I’ve made the choices I have and start criticizing myself for where I’m at in life. I look at my smallish condo and wish it was a big house. I fret that there aren’t any letters after my name. […]

Honoring and Enjoying Our Differences vs “Resolving” Them 1

Can we really “resolve” our differences? And do we want to? One thing I learned in Matrix is to see differences as a good thing. It is our fear of difference, and suppression of difference, that creates energetic blocks in groups and relationships–not the differences […]

Limbic Templates: How to Change Deep Patterns 2

Our limbic system is our body’s emotional-relational system. Some places it shows up: when you feel awkward when you don’t like someone and you don’t know why when you fall in love when you feel “open-hearted” or “hard-hearted” when you sense someone has a creepy […]

Let’s make things that matter 0

art · beauty · magic · joy There are things in you waiting to be born. Eager whispers of words to be written, songs to be sung, pictures to be taken, paintings to be made, gardens and bridges and businesses to be built. We are […]

Opening Your Heart in an Overwhelming World 0

Over the last year, I’ve experienced an overall opening and freeing of my heart. This has changed the quality of my life in a subtle but powerful way. For the past six months I have been doing volunteer work in the prison system, teaching Non-violent Communication […]

Let’s be awkward together 1

One of my biggest struggles over my whole life has been around belonging, and worrying that I will be rejected for one reason or another. I’m different, I’m a freak, la la la. One way this shows up for me is in my writing life. […]

Let’s Talk About Sex (and Kink) 5

Touch. Sex. Ecstasy. Kink. Bondage. Sado-masochism. These are things we don’t talk about at workshops. Well, unless they are sex workshops. Why? Why are these topics off-limits? Why is there “therapy” and “sex therapy”? The taboo on sex is an invisible line right down the […]

The world can’t wait to meet you 1

Today I was given the exercise to write “Things I wish my Mom had said to me”, and then say them to myself, with feeling. Here is what I wrote: Emma, you are precious. There is nothing you can’t do. The world can’t wait to […]

Book Review: Go Put Your Strengths to Work 1

The book makes a point that your strengths statements will just be a sentence to someone else but they will feel like a revelation to you. They’re right. I’m blown away by the possibilities this opens up.

Who are you living for? 0

These days I’m working on untangling a core pattern that goes like this: My life has meaning only if I’m helping people. People only want me around to the extent that I’m helping them. I really ought to be saving the world now. Is this […]

Cultivating Self-Worth 0

It’s one of the jobs of a parent to instill a child with a sense of their own worth. This happens naturally if there is enough love, support, connection, and empathy available. If this didn’t happen for you, you may have a shaky connection with […]